Warum wir von Kleinkindern nicht verlangen sollten, „brav“ zu sein
The psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott made a distinction between what he called a "true" and a "false" self. For healthy development, a child needs the freedom to express and experience its true self.
This involves being honest about its desires and emotions without fear of censorship or pressure to compromise. If the child feels furious, it should have a tantrum. If it is sad, it should cry.
If it feels envious, it should express that emotion too. The child should have the luxury of expressing genuine emotions in all their raw intensity.
Later on, the child will need to learn about manners and the feelings of others. Gradually, it will be guided to adopt, at certain times, a false self that knows how to smile, say thank you, and conceal disagreements.
However, Winnicott emphasized that only if the true self has been expressed for a significant period can development be healthy.
He noted that many people go through life without the opportunity to be appropriately awkward and difficult before being expected to be polite.
Going "mad" for a time may be an attempt to reconnect with emotions that were prematurely suppressed to avoid upsetting authority figures.
Therapy offers a second chance to reconnect with the true self, allowing us to rage and cry as much as we need to.
Aus dem sehr empfehlenswerten Buch “A Therapeutic Journey: Lessons from the School of Life” von Alain de Botton